If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
