you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
