It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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