didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
