How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
