Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
