i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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