she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
