like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I will be naked everywhere
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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