her facebook's as public as her vagina
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
