I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Go christen that room with your naked body.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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