Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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