you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
