I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Houston, we have a blender
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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