She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
