He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
