This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I lost the right to judge tonight
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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