Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize