Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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