And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
