plz talk dirty to me
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
