used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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