Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
