Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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