I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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