My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
