There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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