K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
