he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Drunk is not a location!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
