video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
