He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
