why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
