It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I faked an abortion last night.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We have so much sex to catch up on
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
