I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
