Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
