my sisters under your porch take her home
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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