Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
