I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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