My balls are so social today.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
