we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
