Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
