my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
