We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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