Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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