I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
