i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
