youre lurking in front of me
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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