why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
