I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
