wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
