I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
