i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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